27 Days ‘Til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween…

Devil’s Rejects/Halloween director Rob Zombie just announced his plans for the next installment in his rebooted Halloween series. Halloween III centers around an evil mask maker who plans on taking over the holiday using masks that turn children into  foul-mouthed, sister-fucking hillbillies. Zombie’s wife Sherri Moon Zombie is cast to play the mask maker’s wife/cousin. Bill Mosely and Sid Haig appear as neighborhood children, and Ken Foree is cast to play Dr Dan Challis, the role originally played by Tom Atkins. Zombie says “not having to follow the Michael Myers mythology gives me the freedom to make the film I want to make”, funny seeing how he threw the Michael Myers mythology out the window and in to oncoming traffic with the first film.

Dear Rob Zombie,

I thought it was a ballsy move to remake The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 as your directorial debut (which, in all seriousness, I do quite like) but please, for the love of God, stop “reimagining” classic genre films. It’s taken me two years to be able to halfway stomach the first Halloween remake, but it’s sequel is an unforgivable mess. The “white horse” concept was ridiculous, and both a cheap excuse to cast his wife in a totally unnecessary role, and his way of adding a supernatural slant that many said was missing from the first film. It was the supernatural dressing on his visceral salad of shit, if you will. So, now that he’s turned Michael Myers into a scarf wearing, hobo serial killer, and Mrs Myers into Mrs Voorhees, what’s next for Mr. Zombie?… remaking The Blob…

I’ll see you in Hell, Rob…

One comment on “27 Days ‘Til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween…

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